Sunday, March 15, 2015

Love What You Do

College life is very confusing. I often face some hard choices to choose because I always think about the consequences I will take. Sometimes, I think that that is a normal thing happening when adolescence is going to turn into young adult people. However, I still can not accept that thing and it always disrupt my heart. 

College life has two huge choices that I should choose, academic (GPA, seminars, studying, and assignments) or social (organizations and committees). I personally truly honestly incredibly want to choose both of them. However, dilemma is always there. Because of my disorder (OCD), I always want to do something perfectly. I can always focus on one thing. Then, I prioritized academic over social. 

Most of the time, I feel annoyed by my OCD. OCD makes me to always do everything I want perfectly although I can not do it. I have decided to prioritized academic, yet I can not resist myself to join an organization or some committees. In recruitment process, I said many optimistic answer to the interviewer and they were amazed and hopeful of myself. That time, after I gave my answers, I felt very hopeful, too. Things get escalated very quickly when I am in the middle of the process. I feel very confused of managing my time to academic and social. I always feel confused whenever I get a group assignment, there are some meetings and organizational tasks needed to be done. I feel frustrated too when I know that my lecture orders me to always read the next chapter prior to the next class. It takes a lot of my time. I become more frustrated when I do not get permission to leave organization or committee meetings because of assignments and studying. I come to be unable to handle it.

One day, I vented to my one of close friends about this problem. He has quite good GPA and joins an organization, too. I am really curious of how he can do those two things together. He used to be very funny and sort of childish person. Now, he is grown-up and I am so pathetic. After venting so much, he gave a solution in a very short sentence:

This sentence settles my dilemma now. What I get from this sentence is not that I should love all unwelcome things I do. What I get is that I should carry on what I am doing now, then I should love it as well. I only can do something useful on academic things and makes me enjoyed. All this time, I evidently care too much about what other people say about me. This really influences my life a lot.

Since first semester, seniors have always shouted about "academic is not that very important". I evidently let it enter to my head and ruined my mind. Ever since, I always tried to join some committees and an organization (for now) and make something useful for them. I really put a lot of my effort on that and it seems to be fruitless. That is the power of "always care about what other people say about you".

Now, I reduce that propaganda in my head and try to make it go out of my head. Slowly but sure, I start to be courageous to focus on doing group assignments, individual assignments, studying a lot of chapters, and anything related to academic. In my opinion, focusing on only academic is not completely wrong. Some college students just do that because they think that they are not capable of doing something related to organization or committees. Perhaps, they have tried so many times like myself to join and contribute something on organizations or committees, yet all of their efforts are futile.

I also think that people always want to accomplish something on their lives. I do. In order to do that, some of them take difficult and frustrating ways and others just take bearable and mediocre ways. I take the latter. You should not think that doing something in mediocre ways or in people's comfort zone does not take so much effort. You are wrong! I give all of my efforts on academics. Academics are not my comfort zone. I will always love what I am doing and try not to give any single care to what people say.

God bless you!

Pictures sources:

  • http://mycelium.is/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/Love-What-you-do.jpeg
  • All memes are made by myself using Meme Generator

18 comments:

  1. Kayak Berpacu dalam melodi :D, "Do What You Love, and Love What You Do"

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    1. Hhmm apa iya gan? Gak tahu ane haha. :p

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  2. Cinta memiliki banyak arti yang berbeda-beda :)

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    1. Betul sekali dan orang Indonesia sering salah paham di sini :D

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  3. Oke, mungkin ini out of topic, tapi saya jadi penasaran tentang OCD, hehe. Btw sejak kapan dan gimana awalnya kamu menyadari kalau kamu punya disorder itu? Kan orang sering nggak sadar mereka OCD atau nggak...

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    1. No problemo :D.
      Sejak kapan sepertinya sejak saya masih SD. Sadarnya itu beberapa minggu yang lalu, mbak ketika teman saya bilang kalau saya kena OCD. Saya bisa tahu dan yakin karena latar belakang saya yang dulunya adalah mahasiswa FK. Walaupun cuma 1 semester, saya udah diberi skill untuk mencari tahu mengenai beberapa penyakit di sumber2 yang valid di internet. Terus saya cari tahu ttg OCD di internet. Tapi, ini gak baik sih, soalnya ini self-diagnosis karena saya belum menemui psikiater/psikolog. ._.

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    3. Iya bisa itu. Terus, pernah gak sampai merasa stress berat sampai nangis, gelisah, cemas karena tidak bisa melakukan sesuatu dengan perfect padahal ya mungkin itu sepele dan orang lain bakal biasa2 aja reaksinya?

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  4. OCD itu apa? Ga ngerti ._.v

    Emang sih banyak yang bilang kalau nilai itu ga terlalu penting, yang penting itu nikmati hidup. Berusaha semaksimal mungkin, dan terima apapun hasilnya.

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    1. OCD itu Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. :D. Penyakit yang bikin diri kita itu selalu perfect dan pengen melakukan sesuatu yang dia tidak bisa lakukan.

      Huahauhauhaua, saya pengennya kaya gitu mbak. Tapi karena OCD ya jadinya saya gak bisa lepas dari mindset saya tsb :(

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  5. Do what you want! Jangan ikut kata-kata orang lain, apalagi senior yang gak dikenal-kenal banget :D Kalau memang serius ke akademik gak ada masalah sih, takes a risk. It's a life, you must learn something from all problems~

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    1. Yes, I really agree. Iya, karena saya mungkin mampunya di hal itu doang ya saya hanya bisa fokus ke situ. Yes, true!

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  6. Hebat uy bisa ngebahasa linggis, eh inggris lancarŕ

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    1. hahahaha. Bahasa linggis itu gimana ya mbak? XD Anyway, thanks :D

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  7. May I add?
    "Love what you do" and... be responsible! Hehehe

    Your English is good and I'm curious if I can write this comment well. So, yeah I try. Sorry for my bad English. I've been learning this. Hehehe

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    1. Ah, I think you are correct. Haha. Should I change? :p

      Nah, thanks for the compliment but I think this is still not good because my spoken English is very horrible. Your English is good according to your comment here, no grammar mistakes. :D

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  8. Change! change! change! Haha
    Nah, I'm kidding. I will not force you. I just remind all of us to love what we do, but don't forget to be responsible. Hehehe. If our choice is different from our parents, it's really okay. No problem. Just be responsible by doing the best to prove that we've chosen tha right one. ^_^

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